Three years later....how did that happen? I'm still in disbelief that all the contents, memories, hopes and dreams of my sweet baby Lila are all wrapped up in a box. How is it that possible? It seems like yesterday that we were finding out we were having a baby. And now three years later, we are about to celebrate her third birthday. Three years later, I can still close my eyes and see every detail of that day. I'm thankful for that. The memories, the details, that's all I have of my girl. I pray I never lose that. I pray I never forget the feeling I had when I asked "Is she breathing?" as they pulled her out during surgery. I pray I never forget the look of pride and love on Scott's face as he carried her casket to her grave. Please God never let me forget that YOU were there in those moments.
Love looking through our box of memories and seeing letters Scott wrote. Letters to "sprout" before we knew we were having a girl. Letters to Lila Elizabeth telling her of all the tea parties that we would have. I cherish the scriptures that friends wrote to cover her isolet in the NICU. I cling to the dress that she wore on her last day on earth. Looking through these treasures, makes be long to hold my baby girl and fulfill all the hopes and dreams we had for her. So very thankful that we got to watch her grow and develop right before our eyes for those 16 days. I cherish those days.
Three years has brought so much joy, fear, faith and trust in God. God has continued to show us daily that He will carry us when our strength is weak. He will wipe our tears when we feel we can't go on. He will bless and bring joy in the tiniest of things. He has shown He heals wounds so deep that we don't think can ever heal. So blessed by that knowledge and faith in Him that comforts and heals all wounds. I pray the next three years holds even more trust and dependence on Him. I pray that God provides opportunities to share Lila's story and how God is to be glorified through her life and death.
Oh how I love you! Happy birthday sweet girl. I can just picture the celebration going on in heaven today for you. Know that we are celebrating you today. Griffen can't wait to blow out your candles on your cake and let your balloons go. He's convinced that they will reach you in heaven. Be looking for them today. Crawford will be clapping with all that he has as we sing to you. You are loved and you are missed.
With all my love, Mommy
The story of Lila's birth is here http://thestepterfamily.blogspot.com/2011/01/where-to-begin.html