Where to begin?!

How do you begin describing the scariest most unimaginable yet miraculous day of your life?! I don't really know where to begin but know that if I don't begin writing these details down they will get all mixed up with the long road ahead.

It all began on Monday morning January 17th, 2011. I woke up around 3 am having to go to the bathroom, like every other pregnant woman out there. Once back in bed, I tossed and turned the rest of the night and just couldn't get comfortable. Scott and I got up around 8 and I just wasn't feeling quite right. My stomach started cramping up but I didn't really think anything of it, just chalked it up to regular pregnancy annoyances. After eating breakfast the cramping really started to increase a bit but yet again, I didn't think much of it. I went to the restroom (sparing  you  too many details) realized my amniotic sac was coming out. I then, as calmy as I could, told Scott to start a video for Griffen and to come to help me. He confirmed what I was thinking too, that I was miscarrying our 25 week old sweet baby Lila. We immediately called 911.

The 911 operator walked Scott through how to help me until the paramedics could get to me. I was told to lie on the floor and not to push. She then instructed Scott to get a shoestring, towels, receiving blankets, etc in case he were to have to deliver the baby himself. This is when I started to cry because the reality and seriousness of the situation was finally beginning to settle in. Through the tears, I realized that I was having contractions every few minutes. Looking back now, I know that even through the tears I was calm, not hysterical, not frantic or panicked but calm. This was the same peace, only given by God Himself,  that carried me through the next few hours.

The paramedics arrived soon after and got me to the hospital asap. Scott and Griffen followed in our car. On the way, the dispatcher radioed ahead letting them know that I was on my way. Because of this, they were able to compile the NICU team to be on hand if the need arose to take care of Lila. This also, was how the rotating NICU doctor was made known to get back to the hospital asap (I think they said she had just left). Another God thing!--On the way to the hospital all I could do was breathe and pray. God's peace was surrounding me even when the paramedic told me that I may be miscarrying our sweet girl.

Once at the hospital, I was whisked into a labor and delivery room. A nurse checked me and found me to be fully dilated and contracting about every minute. They tried to get Lila's heartbeat on the monitor but weren't able to find it. The sweetest nurse just kept reassuring me that my baby girl was gonna be ok. My doctor walked in a minute or two later expecting to find one of her full term patients in labor and was shocked to see me. Relief came over me when I saw her face. She checked me and said Lila was breech and we immediately needed to do a c-section. Scott walked back in the room after passing Griffen off to his mom and we headed back to the operating room.

I think this is when I finally realized that I may actually get to see our sweet Lila but also that she was 25 weeks and so far from ready to be born. The surgery went like clockwork with everyone running around checking on this and that. My doctor and Scott kept reassuring me that things were going to be ok. In minutes it seemed like the surgery had begun and ended before I knew it. I remember just wondering what was going on behind the curtain with my sweet girl. Was she stillborn? Was she alive? Would I ever get to hold this sweet girl that I had prayed for for a lifetime? Would Griffen ever know his sister?

 Lila Elizabeth was born at 10:11 am weighing 1 lb. 12 oz. born at 24 weeks 6 days gestation.Minutes later the NICU team walked by with Lila. They said that she was alive that she had been intubated her. She would shortly be transported to the Children's hospital in Fort Worth. All I could do was thank the Lord that our baby girl was alive at that moment.--About an hour after the delivery, the NICU transport team wheeled Lila about to head to the Children's hospital. Throughout this time, I was never really able to see her because I wasn't able to sit up long enough or to get the right angle to see into her incubator (totally not the technical term). All that got me through that moment of watching my baby girl being wheeled away from me was the grace of God knowing that He was holding her in his loving arms. Everything in my screamed to ignore the extreme pain that I was in, jump up and go grab my baby girl in my arms and never let her go.

Lila arrived at the children's hospital awhile later and I didn't see her until 3 days later.

My goal is to backdate the past few days but for now....Lila is 5 days old and stable at this time. God is good and is holding each of us in His loving arms as He carries us through each hour. Each hour we celebrate life and the daughter that God has given us. Only He knows the number of her days but I pray with everything that I am that no matter how long or short her life, that God is made known through every day that she is with us.

Please continue to pray for our baby girl.

Romans 12:12---Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer.